“A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ.” John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley 

Have you ever wondered why most statues of the Buddha and Kwan Yin are shown smiling? If you’ve never paid attention, start noticing. Typically they are presented in a meditative pose, eyes closed or softly focused, with a gentle, sweet smile. We might assume that they are happy because they meditate all the time. Or maybe, just maybe, they smile because they’ve figured out that smiling is healthy. 

The Greek scientist Galen observed 2,000 years ago that women who were happy were less likely to develop cancer. Modern science is beginning to explain why. A good belly laugh releases endorphins, decreases stress hormones and pain, lowers blood pressure and even boost the immune system. That’s why humor therapy is now being incorporated into cutting-edge programs to assist people in dealing with diseases, depression and grief.  

Most American adults don’t laugh and smile nearly enough. We take life much too seriously!  But you probably don’t need humor therapy to learn to laugh. Just start bringing your attention to humor. Trust that the Universe generates infinite opportunities for delight moment to moment.

Perhaps you wonder what good all of this information does you when you’re not feeling happy. I would suggest (and this isn’t a novel idea) that happiness is a choice.

I’m not talking about pretending here, or stuffing your feelings. I’m talking about noticing how different your body feels when you laugh or smile and then looking for things to smile and laugh about. 

I am fortunate to have a tremendous role model for the transformational power of humor in my life.

My Dad, Rick Schneider, is one of the silliest, funniest, and perhaps not coincidentally, happiest people I know.   When my daughter Maddie (who has been mature from birth, it seems) was 5 years old, my Dad told her she acted like she was 55. Maddie, ever perceptive, replied, “yes Grandpa, but you act like you’re 5.” I’m convinced that Dad’s child-like ability to find humor in daily living is the reason he’s still alive and enjoying life.

 Less than 10 years ago my father was a successful, active businessman who loved to travel, dance and entertain. Within a few years he had open heart surgery, lost his kidney function,  a leg and the ability to drive to diabetes. He went into the hospital 31 times in 27 months. Few would have faulted him for giving up on life or becoming bitter.

 Dad made a different choice.

 Over a period of several months, his blood sugar stabilized, he regained energy, cholesterol and blood pressure dropped, his eyes stopped hemorrhaging so he could have cataract surgery and regain his eyesight. In short, he regained his life. He still can’t drive and he’s in dialysis three times a week. But he’s working from home part time, dispensing books and advice on abundance and happiness. Dad will tell anyone who asks him that he’s happier than he has ever been.  

What brought about such an amazing transformation? Some constructive lifestyle changes, excellent medical care, lots of prayers and the unflagging, unbelievable support of my Mom have all been important factors. But I believe none of it would have mattered without Dad’s decision to look for reasons to laugh in almost every situation. 

Dad has a quick wit and an uncanny ability to make people around him feel good. His humor is often at his own expense since, although he is brilliant, he has no qualms about appearing silly or even ridiculous to get a smile. He delights in the absurd. He’s an irresistible, inexplicable combination between an impish boy and an informed, sophisticated man. What is probably most unique about him, though, is his conscious decision to use his misfortunes as an opportunity to bring hope and joy to others. 

I was already working on this article when, on March 9, 2007, Dad fell in a parking lot. As I write this he’s lying in a hospital bed, where he’s been for several days while the doctors try to determine what is causing the exquisite pain in his hip. I was with him the evening he fell. In between bouts of crying out in pain, Dad was joking with the paramedics about their difficulty getting his IV needle to go in and talking about the Eagles, his favorite musical group. After we got to the hospital, he did his best to befriend the nurses and technicians. He made their job more enjoyable by making them laugh. He could have easily succumbed to feeling sorry for himself. He could have lashed out at those around him. Instead, he made the best out of a bad situation. Through none of this did he deny his pain or try to pretend that things were other than they were. My Dad is simply able to appreciate each moment as it is given to him. When I commented on his state of mind in the midst of a difficult and painful situation, Dad said “it’s amazing, the power we have.” The power to choose to be happy.  

Obviously, my father’s example is a daily reminder to lighten up and not take myself, or my perceived problems, too seriously. One of the easiest places for me to discover humor is in my own foibles. Meditation has allowed me to become more observant of my ego’s absurdities and I can usually laugh at my own ridiculousness. Instead of beating myself up now each time I catch myself in another habitual, reactive behavior, I can usually smile like an indulgent parent. “Oh, there it is again!” I’m lucky enough to have friends who can laugh at my personality quirks along with me, without malice (and of course, they allow me to laugh at theirs too!) 

Regardless of whether you were blessed with an innate “Irish wit” like my father, I believe you can learn to smile at life. Try this. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Notice how your body is feeling. What’s your emotional state? Now slowly, gently raise the corners of your mouth into a genuine smile. Don’t worry about whether you think you have anything to smile about. Just notice what happens when you smile. Do you feel any different? Now what do you think would happen if you had a genuine laugh? 

Look for people, situations, books and movies that make you laugh. Humor is a pretty personal thing so if you’re not sure yet what tickles your personal funny bone, experiment.   

I love British & Irish humor, so the movies I rely on most for humor are: Waking Ned Divine, The Full Monty, Saving Grace and Monty Python’s Holy Grail.  For books I turn to Jane Austen, who is a master at subtly portraying human absurdity, and also Roddy Doyle and Frank McCourt, who can have me weeping at a tragic situation and then laughing out loud in the next paragraph.  

Since my Dad is my role model for the transformational power of humor, I asked him to recommend writing that made him laugh. Dad writes, “the first book that comes to mind is Catch 22, by Joseph Heller. Catcher in the Rye, by JD Salinger, is weird and witty although some readers may want to be warned that the language at the end of the book is a little rough. Anything written in the last 20 years or so by Elmore Leonard. His dialogue is right on, and funny without being comical. The Spenser series by Robert B. Parker is good for a laugh. Both Leonard and Parker have a special talent for street jargon, especially in their ability to portray black guys as being cool without being condescending. As far as columns go, I have enjoyed Bill McClellan, PJ O'Rourke and Dave Barry.”  

Dad and I both enjoy reruns of classic shows like Barney Miller, All in the Family, Mash and early Saturday Night Live episodes. And we have both memorized most of Monty Python’s Holy Grail as well as The Big Chill.  

Click here to try some of our favorites yourself and have a few laughs! And if you want to get to know my personal humor mentor, contact my Dad, Rick Schneider. He loves to make new friends! He also dispenses terrific free advice on happiness, abundance and the keys to a fulfilling life. You’ll find his website at http://www.TheSecretOfAttraction.com. 

May the blessings of the laughing Buddha be yours,
Kimberly V. Schneider, LPC
Transformational Counselor
www.findsforseekers.com